Were I a superstitious person it would mean that it was just destined to happen on such a terrible day. I've had a fun but long week and a bit of insomnia (which I tend to have around a full moon... hmmmm) so when I came home from work today I literally left a trail of clothes from the front door to my bed and slid into it and immediately dozed off.
My phone rang about an hour later and it was my sister. I almost didn't answer it but something in my gut told me to pick it up. It turns out, my twelve year old nephew had literally just broken his collarbone, the ambulance was coming to get him and my sister needed help wrangling the two younger siblings of his. I hauled my ass out of bed and went to St. Vincent's and beat the ambulance there. They wouldn't let me back until he had been checked into a room and I literally watched him be unloaded, all by himself, and wheeled in.
I've been a really absent aunt in his life and in the life of his sister and brother. A mixture of radically different lifestyles and the fact that they live in the same household as my mother keeps me from going over there more often. I've missed watching them grow up and tonight I missed it. To the core. My oldest nephew was on a gurney, strapped down, by himself and my gut churned. I ached. He's the most beautiful kid... he's turned out so amazing... and even though we rarely see each other, he actually seems to like me. I know it's because I'm that 'cool lady that plays video games' but still, a 12 year old boy likes me. He's not embarrassed by me which most male kids at that age would be. As the younger two siblings ran wildly in the waiting room on a sugar high I realized that though my nerves are ill-equipped to deal with two wild ones under the age of 5 all at the same time in an emergency, I still knew that were it not in such a weird situation, I would have adored hanging out with these little ones. My niece is such a girl... so beautiful with these fantastic doe eyes. And my nephew is absolutely wild, much like his dad, but is the sweetest little soul.
And then the oldest. Once I got his meds and headed back to his house, I sat there with my sleeping niece, sleeping and coughing nephew, my sister and my nephew and his very broken collar bone and had the best time. He's so bright, even under the influence of major pain killers. He's funny, charming, and absolutely gentle to the core. I really studied his face tonight and realized how amazingly handsome he already is, but wow, he's going to absolutely knock the girls dead soon.
I still feel somewhat sick... there's still a churning in my gut tonight, even after having gone out for a bit to see some friends play. Even with distraction, my gut churns for the time I've lost with him. I hope I make it up to him. I think I have with my oldest niece and now I need to work on building a relationship with the three others. They are wonderful and beautiful and I need to learn and be amazed by them. I want to know them.
Okay-I'm now sitting here crying over your heartwarming and tear-jerking story. You know I can instantly relate due to your nephew being the same age as my youngest son. You remember him? The one trixie licked his face on 4th of July a couple of years ago? I describe my baby with the same words you used to describe your nephew. They sound very similar in personality. I hope he is doing okay and is recovering well from his injury. Please do what you expressed you want to do-spend time with him-let him into your fabulous and exciting life-be that special Aunt to him. I know I would want my baby to have someone like you in his life. You could only add value to what he already has-children can never get enough love!
Posted by: michelle | September 17, 2008 at 12:38 PM