Dilemna

I'm very sleepy due to Percocet so I am apologizing now for any typos or crazy talk that may happen.

I've had an experience lately that has really boggled me and as usual, I have attempted to dissect it and also see why it has affected me so strongly.  I have been so lucky in my life to have ended up being surrounded by people who want to learn about themselves and improve.  It's a slow process, one that takes a lifetime but I'm so happy that my nearest and dearest are all people that are either in therapy, have been in therapy, read for self-improvement, or are in recovery where they have and always will learn about themselves. 

I met someone recently that is in a rare category for me... not one that I run across very much.  They acknowledge their dysfunction but instead of working on it, they want everyone else to work around it.  It seems to allow for the occasional lack of politeness and basic human skills like saying "Thank You" or acknowledging when someone does something nice for you.  I am quite familiar with the concept of feeling unworthy of things:   gifts, people's kindness, compliments, etc... but I've never come across someone so strangely adamant about being rude when someone is being nice.  I find it to be the strangest response I've ever encountered. 

My feelings are not hurt, there's definitely no love lost, and friendship seems impossible when one can give gifts but not receive them.  It seems a strange combination of lack of self worth and complete selfishness.  I wonder what the Meyers Briggs would say about that combo.  I must admit, it's fascinating.  But only from a distance.  I don't do well with rudeness, no matter where it comes from.  It's an unnecessary response to anything I've done.  I hope eventually they are able to take stock and recognize how limiting that behavior is.  Then again, maybe it's none of my concern and all I need to worry about is bettering myself and being a friend to those who want my friendship and enjoying the wonderful friendships I have.

Yeah.  I think that's what I should do.

Comments

[kMansfield]

That person sounds like Narcissistic Personality Disorder - attention seeking, played out in public, a very "me-me-me" selfish type of disease, not to far from anorexia /bulimia. I have found that people with this type of disorder are merely takers, energy vacuums that can't be part of a supportive and mutually beneficial relationship/support system.

You are right - that person has no intention of improving. They were damaged, probably in childhood, and now feel entitled to extract payment or inflict abuse on others, and play it out on a public stage.

A note about finding your style. You can change them too, don't worry too much defining an abstract concept. It's not real.

[michelle]

I agree with the latter, concentrate on yourself, your friends and the positive things surrounding you. Life is too short and complicated for the most part to align with anyone that brings negativity to your world. I steer clear of such. Lord knows I can get down on myself or my world without anyone's help!